Yesterday my roommate Alexa gave a pirate outfit , which was so nice of her. My life has changed in a lot of ways since then. Today I will share my story and explain to you how a Pirate copes with quarantine and social distancing.
My day started like any other. I got a professional hair cut for free. My roommate Kathlyn is a stylist and she was very nice to do this. A lot of people don’t have that luxury but I do and I try to remain cognizant of my haircut privilege and also that I am a pirate.
I remembered I had some box dye and a mask so I went all in after my haircut. Pirate spa day! I sent this photo to this guy I like and he said I look like Fiona. I am a pirate! Not an ogre! I had to wait awhile for my dye and mask to set so I decided to take some sexy photos. Here’s one I thought looked really sexy.
Then I took a lot of edibles. My roommate had some sour gummies and I ate five of them. Then I smoked a whole joint alone and played Animal Crossing: New Horizons for a little while.
As a pirate in quarantine it is important to keep your mind sharp and cut down on screen time. I thought maybe playing with my pirate ship or Harry Potter chess might help. I was right, and it was awesome. My roommate Emily gave me some hot tips about puzzle strategy which helped a lot.
In summary, being in quarantine is really hard. I want to have sex and make irrational decisions at bars during the work week. I want to get a gym membership I won’t use. There’s so much missing in a pirate’s life while landlocked. The little things help. Look at this dinner my roommate Kathlyn made! I know I’ll have to one up her when it’s my turn but for now, I will happily enjoy this buried treasure.
I will keep you updated on my journey. You are also welcome to subscribe to my onlyfans account by subscribing to @onlypirate. For now, walk the plank, mateys.