The Return of Applebees: A Millennial’s Playground

Millennials grew up in a world full of questions. Did Bush do story time on September 11th, 2001? Did Israel really kill millions of kale plants as the most vegan country on earth? Was the moon landing really broadcast in black and white when the government had the science to make color film widely available?

The most difficult of these questions lies in what at first appears as a trivial matter:

Does Applebee’s go hard?

The answer, which appears to be an unequivocal yes, is “Yes.”

Applebee’s began as a small, humble operation in the heart of Boise. When Tim Apple and Alicia Bee met at a Cinnabon in 1948 the chemistry was instant. Their connection sparked what would become a neighborhood restaurant for neighborhoods across the country. I sat down with them at the world’s largest Applebee’s in the heart of Bushwick.

Alicia is virtuallly blind and Tim suffers from severe Alzheimer’s, but they both joyfully recall their first few years in operation.

“The invention of the microwave changed everything!” Alicia exclaims. Tim groans in confusion and agreement.

KJ: So what inspired you to pursue an endeavor like this?

Tim: There isn’t enough helium to sustain the dema-
Alicia, interrupting: Well we lived in what was a small, rural community at the time. Boise is now a booming city of fine dining and industry, but when we began there was nowhere to go to meet people or get to know your neighbors. We sought to fill that void.

KJ: So this was sort of a grass roots thing? Did you start off with a chef or are these home recipes?

Tim: The presidential election and impeachment trial is a divisive distraction to force peo-
Alicia: Most of our recipes are passed down through our families. Our 2 for $20 entreés were all taught to me by Tim’s mother. She was a wizard with the microwave and a total inspiration.

Tim Apple whipped up some of his famous shrimp fettuccini for the interview

KJ: When did you decide to go national?

Alicia: We wanted to bring our hometown feel to the rest of the country- everyone deserves to feel like the-
Tim: 5g is causing cancer in children wh-
Alicia: Honey, please. Everyone deserves to feel like they are eating good.

KJ: When did you notice young people getting more interested in your establishments?

Alicia: Within the last year our $1 monthly drinks have brought in a-
Tim: The economy has eaten itself and millennials can barely affor-

That was all the time our guests had to answer questions, but as they left arm in arm our staffed couldn’t help but smile. Tim led his octogenarian partner into traffic, and the keen listening she provided somehow saved them from a devastating impact.

Many Applebees locations will offer sports betting kiosks on each table- one of Alicia Bee’s favorite pastimes

The fire of their passion for eating good burns on in all of us, and is also legal and encouraged in every bathroom and dumpster on their property nationwide. Reporting from Applebee’s in Bushwick, this is K. Jimenez, despite everything



Categories: Interviews, News

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